On Maintaining Relationships...
I once read a book about relationships. . . I forgot the title now. I forgot the rest of the material in the book, probably. But I remember this one idea.
Let's say there is a two-being relationship, and both want to maintain it. So they split the responsibility of maintaining relationship halfway, down the middle. One is responsible for 50% of the work, and the other is also responsible for the other 50%.
Each day, they do whatever is needed: calling, giving gifts, communicating, thoughtful gestures, etc., to keep the relationship going, growing, and thriving.
Until, one day, one being is overwhelmed, and they can only give 49%.
This relationship is now struggling, because only 99% of the work needed. The other 1% is missing, and the relationship is going downhill.
Or it could be that 10% is missing, which is quite bad.
How do you guarantee that this cannot happen in your special relationships?
Easy-- you take responsibility for doing 100% of the work. If the other also puts in some work, great! You are now over 100%, and it's getting even better! If, one day, you are struggling, and you can only put in 90%, chances are that the other will have the other 10% to give, and you're still at 100.
That's it, that's the hack.
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Let's say there is a two-being relationship, and both want to maintain it. So they split the responsibility of maintaining relationship halfway, down the middle. One is responsible for 50% of the work, and the other is also responsible for the other 50%.
Each day, they do whatever is needed: calling, giving gifts, communicating, thoughtful gestures, etc., to keep the relationship going, growing, and thriving.
Until, one day, one being is overwhelmed, and they can only give 49%.
This relationship is now struggling, because only 99% of the work needed. The other 1% is missing, and the relationship is going downhill.
Or it could be that 10% is missing, which is quite bad.
How do you guarantee that this cannot happen in your special relationships?
Easy-- you take responsibility for doing 100% of the work. If the other also puts in some work, great! You are now over 100%, and it's getting even better! If, one day, you are struggling, and you can only put in 90%, chances are that the other will have the other 10% to give, and you're still at 100.
That's it, that's the hack.